EasyJet

So today has been an unproductive day, I got up late, ponsed around, made tea and sat down and did nothing. It's now about 4 hours before I'll be back in my bed again.

I suppose I should write about something, so I'll write about my fears. Bearing in mind, fears and phobias are vastly different things.

My fear in life is that I'll end up old and lonely without my own little family. That all my friends will be married with children and I'll end up on my own bitter about how things have turned out.

I also fear that because I live so far away from my friends, I'll become a less important factor in their lives. I fear that there will be a time that me being away doesn't affect them and they don't need me anymore.

I guess I'm terrified of being lonely. I've lost so many friends over the past 6 years. There was a time when I had so many friends I ended up leaving the important ones behind, now I can count my true friends on 2 fingers. Jess and Pig.
What ever happened to Kylie, Jess K, Lettie, Adam, Sarah and so many more. There was a point when I was close to all of these people. The perfectness of the time we understood eachother seems so far away now, it will never happen again and I have to accept that.
The majority of these people just faded away, like a fire that had lost it's fuel. There wasn't a certain cut off point that stopped the friendship. It was a mutual loss of contact.
I spoke to Sarah through Facebook a few months ago when I was pissed and although we are still considered friends, we never actually make the effort to find out how one another are.

I don't know where I'm going with this, so i'll leave it at that.