Gotta get down on Friday

To continue with the 'Thinspiration' today was so much easier to cope with than yesterday. I really haven't had any hunger pangs during the day at all and it's great.
Today I got up and studied myself in the mirror and I felt ashamed. I didn't eat anything at all in the morning, instead I had a coffee with no sugar which I actually like. I then weeded the garden and did my situps etc. After that I had a cup-a-soup and cleaned 2 pools which is quite strenuous work. After that, me and Jon went to the local Taverna and I had haf a litre of wine, I came back and cooked chile con carne, I had a portion the size of my fist again.
I'm going to weigh myself next Thursday and see the results. On Sunday we are going to an all you can eat chinese. I'm horrified to tell you this but that's really going to screw me up on the weight loss if I have to seem normal to Jons parents. I may actually not eat anything when he is in England and if I do I might even purge. My stomach feels horrible from being bloated with wine and I feel uncomfortable from the chile earlier. I am so tempeted to make myself sick it's unreal. I did try purging when I was in England last year, I stopped doing it because one time I had eaten chips and left it too long, and it was so dry and horrible to come back out and the taste, eugh, the taste was afwul. I'm going to be as open with my thoughts as I can on here about this.
I'm quite happy at this moment, feeling hungry right now after dinner, it makes me feel good about myself. A feeling I used to hate and satisfy at the first givings. I am now in control of myself, instead of my body.
It's crazy to think  how much I didn't give a shit a couple of days ago. I'm only writing this publically so I don't go overboard. I'm not doing this to become ill at all, I don't have the motivation or will to even drop a stone. I'm just curious, and curiosity isn't going to kill this regular cat. x