Thinspiration

So since I'm now 154lb and 5'8" I decided I would do an extreme form of dieting. I looked around all the disgusting thinspiration and pro ana sites. I decided I would go on a below 400 calorie diet and exersise.
I spoke to my partner about this and he said he didn't care what I did, so I wouldn't need to be secretive even if I did the fast. But fasting works better if you do it over more than 1 week, so decided against that as I have to go out for meals quite a bit and that would defeat the purpose.
Yesterday, I ate a banana, 1 boiled sweet and a portion of carbonara the size of my fist. I also drank about 6 glasses of water. I didn't eat anything after 4pm.
I went to bed feeling hungry and it made me smile.
This morning, I can even feel the black dogs of a potential eating disorder, even in day 2.
I can see how being slim is attractive, it gives off the scent of strength and control. Fat people don't. They can't control what they eat, slim people however do, and it takes a lot of strength not to give into temptation..
This won't last long with me, so I'm not worried. I always do things like this and fail. I think it will only take until Sunday (when we go out for a meal) to collapse on me.
My goal weight is 115lb. Thats around 40lb - 2.8 stone that I need to lose.
Some of the tips on the thinspiration sites are quite good, but it does trigger really bad thoughts. After an hour of researching, I wanted to become anorexic. I mean I really did. The whole of yesterday I was consumed with thoughts of not eating and I was annoyed when my hunger pangs went. Like I said, this wont last. I don't want to destroy my body.

In other news, on Sunday, as well as Mothers day and the meal, we're moving. :)