i thought so too...

Young Jimmy is absent from school one day. On his return,his teacher asks:"We dint see you in class - what was wrong with you yesterday Jimmy"?
"My daddy got burned miss " says Jimmy. Taken aback, the teacher replies, "Thats a shame, Jimmy,Was he badly burnt"?
Jimmy looks at her."well,they don't fuck about at the crematorium, miss."

Why don't M&M's melt in Jesus' hands?

Because they fall through the holes.

Q-- What's the difference between a Christian blow-up doll and a Muslim blow-up doll?A-- The Muslim one blows itself up.

why do pakis smell? so blind people can hate them to

why dont pakis let there kids play in sand boxes ? cause the cats keep burrying them.

God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions onwhere to go."Why not go to Jupiter?" asked St. Peter."No, too much gravity, too much stomping around," said God."Well, how about Mercury?""No, it's too hot there.""Okay," said St. Peter, "What about Earth?""No," said God, "They're such horrible gossips. When I wasthere 2000 years ago, I had an affair with a Jewish woman, and they'restill talking about it."

Why are black people so fast? The slow ones are in jail

Little Susy just got a brand new red ball for her birthday. She's happily playing with it on the road outside the house when suddenly a huge biker drives right over the ball, smashing it. He then stops his bike and starts laughing at Little Susy, who begins to cry and runs into her house and cries to her mom "Mom! Mom, a huge biker smashed my new red ba-all!"Little Susy's mom runs straight out and starts yelling at the biker, but the biker doesn't wanna hear it so he pulls out a big knife and stabs Little Susy's mom right in her heart. Shocked, Little Susy runs back into her house to her dad "Dad! Dad, a huge biker just stabbed mo-om!"Little Susy's dad grabs a baseball bat and runs out to deal with the biker, but the biker pulls out a sawn-off shotgun and blows Little Susy's dad's head off. Little Susy is panicking, what is she to do, what is she to do?! Then she notices a huge lumberjack with a big ax standing at the edge of the woods nearby. She runs over "Mr Lumberjack! Mr Lumberjack, a huge biker just stabbed by mo-om and shot my da-ad!"The huge lumberjack takes a look around, unzips his pants and says "You know what, Little Susy? This just isn't your day."

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing - she's already been told twice

What does a black pereson do after sex? 20 years

What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog