What a night!

Last night ma and Jess woke up in a bin! YES! A BIN! We got totally wrecked off of absynth. It was funny. We went to pigs to start off, and 2 shots of absynth got us absolutely ratfaced. We decided it would be a good idea to do a strip tease infront of Frank, he was impressed but Jess started singing somewhere over the rainbow and fell on the floor. He made us go home because we were on the verge of being sick, so we decided that we didnt want a lift and we would walk home. It was about 9pm then, and we just had bov to go home wrecked so we ended up at the beach, we had a dip then met up with some friends, i remember one of them was Da but i dunno who else was there. We festered there for a while, and i needed sleep so we ended up sleeping in a bin...Woke up and there was sick sleeping with us there aswell. At about 6am when we woke up we decided to go home. But we needed drink, we went back to Jess's house and raided the cupboards and found some cider. We drank it all and ventured out again across the golfcourse making jokes about Jews and pilgrims on the way. Met up with Rob and Johnny and we went for a drive in Rob's car! He took us to Barnstaple and we got there at 9. Luckily Johnny had some weed and we had a blunt shared between us. Me and Jess were minging. We spent most of our xmas money going into random shops, jess bought this clown mask, Its really scary! We then went into a sex shop, it was hilarious, Johnny bought a whip and some handcuffs. He said he wanted to use them on me... [As much as i'd like to Johnny, I dont "do" Whips], when Rob went for the more subtle approach and bought a very scary looking dildo lamp.Well, this trip being as random as it is, just got even more randomer when one of the roads got closed off due to a bomb, and because me and jess were fucked, we were panicking and running around in circles...well that bit wasnt true, and come to think about it this whole story isnt true either. But it was worth a try to make my life seem a bit more interesting
Tab xxx